


I Remember That Night

by enjolrascore



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: A little fluff toward the end, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Literally just the night Max died, M/M, but really not a lot tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 17:18:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6763042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolrascore/pseuds/enjolrascore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night Max died, the Lightwood siblings are far less than okay. Magnus does as much damage control as he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Remember That Night

**Author's Note:**

> I really love exploring the Lightwood siblings grieving. Mostly for personal reasons, but also because grief is a fun one to toy around with (as a writer, not in life. In life it's vv bad 0/10). Also, sorry for all of the angst recently, I swear I am writing fluff; it's just not done yet and I need to run it through my beta, but I swear I'm writing it.
> 
> Not beta read, all mistakes are my own.

Magnus had been looking for Alec all day. He had wanted to give him and his family space after Max’s unexpected death. He left them be until night, before seeking out the Lightwood family.

He found Maryse and Robert still in the Great Hall, but there was no sign of the Lightwood siblings. Magnus avoided the two and headed toward the family’s home, knowing that at least one of them would have to be there. He reached the house and saw that the light in one of the upstairs bedrooms was on, signalling that someone was home. He knocked on the door and waited.

Izzy opened the door, sighing when she saw Magnus. “I’m guessing you’re here for Alec?”

She moved to turn around, but Magnus caught her hand, “Ultimately, yes, but I’m always here for you as well. Tell me what you need, and I’ll try.”

“Can I just have a hug?” Izzy asked, voice cracking slightly.

Magnus pulled her to his chest, gently cradling her body. “You can have the universe if you just ask, my dear. For you, I’ll do whatever it takes to make your heart glow.”

Izzy sniffed, and Magnus could feel the tears wetting his clothes, but he didn’t care. He ran his fingers through her hair and held her close as she cried.

Finally, she spoke, pulling away. “You are a gem, Magnus Bane, I don’t deserve you.”

“And you, Isabelle Lightwood, are still a star. Please don’t let this dim your shine, I’m afraid it would crush me if you did. You deserve all of the love I can give you.”

“Thank you. Now, back to why you actually came; Alec isn’t here. He said he needed to get out and I guess he’s just...wandering. I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright. Do you want me to stay with you, so you don’t have to be alone?”

Izzy shook her head, “I’ll be okay, Magnus, but thank you. Go find my brother, make sure he’s safe.”

“I will. Do you want me to bring him back, or can I take him somewhere? I have a place where he can stay, if he needs to get away.”

“I trust you, just do what he needs. Just bring him home safe, when he’s ready. Promise me that.”

“I promise.”

“And Magnus?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Magnus pulled her in again, “I love you, too. Try and get some sleep, you deserve it.”

Izzy nodded before retreating back into the house. Magnus paused for a moment, but started his trek none-the-less. He knew Alec like the back of his hand, and he knew that Alec would go for the outskirts of the town. He soon found out that he was right, finding the boy sitting under a tree just far enough away from the city.

“Alexander.” He called out, getting the shadowhunter’s attention.

“Magnus, what are you doing here?” Alec asked, pulling himself off of the ground.

“I was looking for you, I’m worried. I just talked to your sister, and she said you needed to get away. Want to spend the night with me? I have somewhere you can go.”

“How is Izzy doing? If you don’t mind, I wouldn’t mind spending the night.”

“Isabelle is doing as fine as anyone could expect, she’ll be okay.” Magnus assured him, “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t okay with it. Get away with me?”

“Please.” Alec whispered, reaching out for Magnus’ hand.

Magnus took it and led Alec to an older home, away from the heart of the city, using magic to unlock the door; having lost the key years ago.

“Who’s house is this?” Alec asked.

“Old friend of mine, they...aren’t around anymore. Why don’t you get in the shower, and I’ll clean up the bedroom? The bathroom is up the stairs and to the right, the bedroom is right across from it.”

“I don’t have any clean clothes.” Alec muttered, looking at the ground.

“Do you want me to go back to your house and get you some? I don’t mind, and it would allow me to tell Isabelle that you’re okay.”

“Would you?”

“Of course. Just hop in the shower; I’ll be back before you get out.”

Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand before turning to leave. He made his walk back to the Lightwood house as fast as he could, making sure he would be back in time for Alec to still be in the shower. He knocked on the door and waited for Izzy.

The door flew open, “Is he alright?”

“He’s totally fine. I just need a change of clothes for him, he can’t sleep in what he’s wearing right now.”

Izzy nodded, walking into the house, waving a hand for Magnus to follow. Magnus stepped in and followed her up the stairs, following her into what had to have been Alec’s room. She opened the dresser and pulled out some clothes, handing them over her shoulder to Magnus.

“Those should do. I assume you’re keeping him for the night?” Izzy turned to face him.

“I am, is that still okay with you?”

“Of course. Besides, my parents should be home soon, so I won’t be alone for too much longer. Take care of my big brother for me, Magnus.”

“You have my word. I should see you tomorrow.” Magnus said, giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Izzy returned the kiss, “See you tomorrow.”

And with that, Magnus returned his walk back to Alec. He thanked The Angel that Alec hadn’t gotten out of the shower yet, when he finally got back.

He knocked on the bathroom door, “Alec, I’m back. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Alec responded, slightly muffled.

Magnus opened the door and slipped in, “I’m going to leave your clothes on the counter, next to the towels. Just come to the bedroom when you’re done.”

Magnus was almost gone when Alec called out, poking his head out from behind the shower curtain. “Magnus, wait.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Join me? I just need someone, right now, please.”

“Of course.” Magnus replied, without a second thought.

Quickly, he stripped out of his clothes, tossing them on the floor next to Alec’s. He slipped into the shower, scanning Alec’s body quickly before returning his gaze to Alec’s eyes. It wasn’t the time for that.

“Have you washed your hair yet?” Magnus asked, noticing the mud matted in Alec’s hair.

Alec shook his head, so Magnus conjured up some shampoo and squirted some into his hands, setting the bottle on the rusted shower caddy. He gently rubbed his fingers against Alec’s scalp, working the product through his hair and giving him a massage at the same time.

“Sandalwood.” Alec muttered.

“Pardon?” Magnus asked, moving Alec so his head was positioned under the spray of water.

Alec tipped his head back, allowing the product to wash out. “The shampoo. It smells like sandalwood.”

“Do you like it?”

Alec just nodded, watching the dirt swirl down the drain. Magnus reached over for the body wash that had been left sitting in the shower caddy, soaping up his hands.

“Give me your hand.” Magnus said, trying not to sound demanding.

Alec lifted his arm and placed his hand in Magnus’ open ones. Magnus gently rubbed the dirt from Alec’s fingernails, then moved to run the soap up Alec’s arm. Just as he got to Alec’s shoulder, Alec reached out and ran his fingers along Magnus’ collarbone, causing him to pause.

“Thank you, for staying, and for doing this.” Alec whispered.

“You don’t have to thank me.” Magnus replied, grabbing his other hand to scrub the dirt away. “Rinse the soap off for me.”

Alec grabbed gently at Magnus’ shoulder, tugging him closer. “You too. I want to help you too.”

Magnus shook his head, “No need, tonight is about you. That, and it’s time for you to get out.”

Before Alec could protest, Magnus had already reached around him and shut the water off. He set his hand on the small of Alec’s back, leading him out of the shower. He reached out and grabbed one of the towels from the counter, wrapping it around Alec’s shoulders before grabbing one for himself. They dried their bodies in silence, Alec throwing on the clothes that Magnus had brought for him. Magnus just tied his towel around his waist, slowly making his way to the bedroom.

When they got there, Magnus started rummaging through the dresser, looking for the pajamas he had stashed away a few days ago. He dropped his towel, once he found them, but froze when he heard the soft gasp from behind him.

He turned to face Alec, “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Alec shook his head, “You’re beautiful. I don’t deserve you.”

Magnus just smiled and proceeded to get dressed, “What is with you Lightwoods and thinking you don’t deserve me? Isabelle said that as well.”

“Because you’re just so good. You wouldn’t expect you to be, with you being centuries old and all, but you are. You’re caring, and beautiful, just because you want to be. Just because you’re you.”

“Thank you, you’re very kind. Why don’t you hop in bed?”

Alec nodded, slipping under the covers. Magnus moved quickly to join him, pulling him closer once he got settled. Alec sighed and rested his head on Magnus’ chest, slinging an arm around his stomach. They were quiet for a while, Alec tracing patterns on Magnus’ sides, staring blankly at a lone freckle on Magnus’ collarbone.

“Hey,” Magnus jostled him, “You’re thinking too loud.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Penny for your thoughts.” Magnus prompted gently.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Is it bad that I feel numb?”

Magnus looked down at his Shadowhunter, “No. You lost someone you love deeply, and everyone experiences loss differently. Please, don’t feel bad for how you this affects you.”

“How many people have you lost, Magnus?” Alec whispered.

“Far too many. If there’s one thing I know how to deal with, it’s grief.”

Alec sniffed and pressed a kiss to the warlock’s neck, trying to hide the fact that his tears were falling onto Magnus’ shirt. They lay there in silence for a while, Magnus ignoring Alec’s crying, knowing that Alec didn’t want it to be addressed.

Eventually, Magnus spoke. “Tell me about him.”

“What?”

“Tell me about Max. All the nice things that you remember about him, just tell me. I want to know.”

Alec let out a watery laugh, “Um, I taught him how to read, but he always had trouble with it; he was dyslexic. He loved reading though, once he got the hang of it, and he was always his happiest with a book in his hand.” Alec had to stop, interrupted by a small choking sob.

“Take your time, Love.” Magnus said, gently rubbing Alec’s back.

“His favorite cereal was Lucky Charms, but we never had it in the Institute. Sometimes Izzy and I would go shopping, and we made sure to grab it for him. I used to make us some, whenever Iz tried to cook breakfast; it annoyed her so much, but I think that was part of why Max liked it so much.

“He really liked frogs. None of us knew why, he just really liked frogs. I remember I promised him that I’d get him one for his birthday, and help him hide it from our parents. He got so excited, and it made me so happy to see him that happy.” Alec giggled, and wiped the tears from his face.

“He sounded like a good kid.” Magnus replied.

“He was, even if he was a little trouble maker.”

Magnus laughed and pulled Alec closer, “I would’ve loved to meet him. I’m so sorry you lost him, I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. However, you need sleep, and I love you too much to not let you get some rest.”

“I love you, too. You need rest also, though. Promise you’ll get some sleep?”

“I promise, now, close your eyes. We’ll talk in the morning, sweet dreams.”

Alec just snuggled closer into Magnus’ chest, taking in his boyfriend’s scent. Slowly, his eyes started to close and he was asleep, before he even knew he felt tired. Magnus sighed, looking down at the young Shadowhunter. He allowed his eyes to close, and for Alec’s even breathing to lull him into a dreamless sleep; the worry still eating away in the back of this mind.

Like he said, they could talk in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is my second angst fic about Max, I am writing a fluff piece with Max and Magnus (in the Shadowhunters TV verse, ya know, where he's still alive...). But, like I said, it's just a WIP rn and it still needs to go through my beta.  
> I'm honestly not a huge fan of this one, and it will probably not be getting anymore chapters (unless there is an overwhelming demand for more), I just had this headcanon in my head that Magnus asks about Max whenever Alec gets anxious, to help ground him. However, I hope that you enjoyed this regardless.  
> Come scream at me on tumblr @enjolrascore (where I am currently taking requests, so ya know)


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